dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
