New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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