u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
