I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
