Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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