There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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