Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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