I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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