you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize