Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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