please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
