The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
