He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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