ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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