Say something about gay babies.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
