i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize