I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize