"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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