last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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