Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
