walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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