I heard we made out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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