Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
