I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Nicole vs. Life
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
