Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
