If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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