Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize