im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
