yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
