I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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