My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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