There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just invented taco cereal.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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