So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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