We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Your penis caused this!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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