I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
