it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
