Where is the hickey?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
