i think my mom watched the whole time
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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