So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
