we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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