so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
