Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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