So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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