Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
