My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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