I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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