I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
