6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
