I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
