Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
