careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize