i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize