Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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