I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
