Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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