No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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