She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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