I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
