Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i dont even know how to be here
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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